EPISODE 140 INTERVIEW WITH CONNIE JONES: ENTREPRENEURSHIP: THE GREATEST PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT JOURNEY YOU WILL TAKE

Erin Marcus:

Hi! I’m Erin Marcus, former corporate executive turned entrepreneur and founder and CEO of Conquer Your Business. Welcome to the Ready Yet?! podcast. We’re excited to bring you more than a hundred episodes of interviews and insights designed to help entrepreneurs get the financial and emotional freedom they need in order to build a business and a life they’re proud of.

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Ready Yet?! podcast. I’m so excited. We finally just managed to hit record, because we could go on forever. But Connie Jones is joining me and we’ve had some amazing conversations about animals, about therapy, about the trauma of being an entrepreneur. So, we figured we might as well hit record and invite you guys into our conversation. But before we get back into it, Connie, why don’t you give everyone a little more formal introduction into who you are and what you do?

Connie Jones:

Yes. Well, thanks, Erin for having me. We have had so much fun already, so I know we’ve got a fun time in store for you guys. So, I’m excited to be here. I’m Connie Jones. I own a brick-and-mortar counseling and coaching practice in Peachtree City, Georgia which is south side of Atlanta. I’ve been in practice for over 20 years. As a therapist for 20 years, I saw therapy clients for many years. I’ve always seen really highly functioning clients and high achievers, but I have made the switch about 10 years ago to start coaching business owners. So, I coach business owners who want to grow into that aligned success. Not the more success means more work and more self-sacrifice. 

Erin Marcus:

Not that version.

Connie Jones:

Exactly. They want to scale their business with the business growth that they want, with the abundance and the freedom and the enjoyment that they want to be able to enjoy their life and love what they do. And then, I also specifically coach in another program I created, I specifically coach therapists, coaches and holistic practitioners how to grow their business to those six-figure and beyond revenues. They have the freedom that they want. And I absolutely love what I do. I have a group counseling practice that I manage or lead and so I’m developing the other team members here. So, that’s a lot of fun. Very rewarding.

Erin Marcus:

Awesome. So, I have like a million questions. I’m just going to pick random order. Was there an impetus for your shift? I’m curious, because here’s a couple things, when you talk about your therapist and counseling, you still light up with energy. And most people make a change not from that place, right? Most people make a change, they’re running away from something, they’re done with something. Legitimately done with something. But I’m curious, coming from a different perspective where you’re enjoying what you’re doing. Like I left a job that I loved with great people, but the impetus was to create something of my own. What was going on that made you take something you loved and still kind of shift adjacent to it?

Connie Jones:

That is a great question and it really comes back to well, there was a breakdown. There was burnout. I was burned out as a therapist. I was tired of working dollars for hours. I was tired of helping everybody else and not living the life that I wanted to be living, and it wasn’t working for me. So, I had that breakdown point and the burnout. No, at that point, I’m not in a group practice. I didn’t have a group practice at that point. So, I hired a coach. And when I learned how to transition my practice into one that really worked for me and was allowing me to live the life that I wanted and do the work that lit me up and work with the people who just really made my soul sing. I realized that what I’m actually doing is a combination of coaching and counseling.

Erin Marcus:

I do think what you’re describing is a lot of people love what they do, but they’re doing it in a way that’s sucking the life out of them.

Connie Jones:

Exactly. So, it wasn’t that I didn’t love what I did. It was I wanted to make some shifts. I wanted to do it differently and I wanted to make some shifts and get real clear on the client that I really wanted to be seeing and the work that I really wanted to be doing with them. So, I did that and worked on that and got real clear about that. Interestingly enough, I didn’t get away from counseling. I just kind of mixed it, but started calling it coaching. And even though I was still doing some counseling, but it was the kind of client that I was working with was the high achiever and most of them business owners. At that point, when they began to come in working on personal struggles and things that were hindering them in their lives, of course it’s hindering them in their business. Because you and I were talking, you said the most beautiful quote a while ago, you said entrepreneurship is the greatest personal development journey ever. That’s so true. It was the best of the best world because I could do both. I could work with an entrepreneur in every area of their business and every area of their life, and there was no stone that I could not unturn and I could begin to see them become a whole person and a whole CEO and a great leader and take their business to the next level because I was able to do both. 

So, as I began to do that, then other people in the community were, I guess, drawn to. They sought me out. They were drawn to what I was doing, and they wanted to learn how. They wanted to come work with me. Some of them will do some life coaching, will do some other kinds of coaching too. But most of them have stayed as therapist. That’s kind of where they’re feeling like they’re calling is, but that changed.

Erin Marcus:

What’s the difference because to someone who has the insight and the nomenclature, what’s the difference? Because like I shared with you, one of my first life coaches that I ever, ever worked with had a background in therapy. What she would say to me, depending on what we were talking about, because she did keep her license. So, it was still legal. She was still above board. She would say to me, “All right. I’m going to take my coach hat off for a second and put my therapist hat on.” 

I always assumed she knew there was some difference in what she was doing. But for me on the receiving end, I could care less, number one. Which I think is a great lesson just in marketing in general that your people want your outcome. They don’t want you, they don’t care about you, they don’t care about your process, they don’t care how you get there. They just buy the outcome you offer. So, she was saying that to me for herself, but not for me because I didn’t care. I also couldn’t tell the difference because I didn’t know.

Connie Jones:

Right. You don’t know. There’s so much overlap. What I would say is that therapy is mainly focused on personal life and childhood and patterns of, I see it from the standpoint of what kinds of patterns of behavior and mindsets and habits did I learn in order to help me survive along the way. And what kinds of emotional wounds, emotional pain, triggers did I develop as a result of some of the experiences that were painful and hurtful and disappointing and traumatizing and all of that. 

So, therapy is focused on healing pains and wounds and reprogramming some patterns of behavior and thinking. Coaching overlaps that. There is not a lot of healing in coaching, even though you change some mindsets and some patterns, it is healing. 

Erin Marcus:

Right. It’s a byproduct. Right?

Connie Jones:

Exactly. It’s not the focus, it’s the byproduct. That’s exactly. Therapy is much deeper. We can do some inner child work. We go back a lot rather than forward. Coaching is very forward moving. I liken it to this, I always say therapy is like unraveling of all of yarn and coaching is knitting the sweater.

Erin Marcus:

Okay. Phenomenal. I love that. I think that’s a really important distinction. I have a question for you that it may be unpopular, it may be a little triggering for some people, who knows. So, I’m a coach and a consultant. I call myself a coach because when I call myself a business consultant, people freak out and think it’s inaccessible to them. I don’t know why that is, but they do. What I talk about in my business to just set the stage for this question is, the side I’m doing on your business is truly consulting because I’m telling you what you need to do. That’s consulting. That’s not coaching. I’m not drawing anything out of you. I’m telling you, if this is what you want, this is how you get there.

Connie Jones:

That’s exactly right. That’s the strategy.

Erin Marcus:

That’s the strategy side. This side of my business that is coaching. I learned it during my MBA, which had a partial focus on executive leadership. So, there was mentoring sessions and things like that is where I walk someone through more of what do you want? Bringing them forward. And then I’m going to add this to it and ask you the question. My business before I had this business was working with families with aging parents. So, I had a variety of services and a variety of resources, worked with families with aging parents. 

One of the things that became abundantly clear in that business that I try to carry through to this business is knowing where your expertise ends. I think there are some amazing coaches out there giving amazing assistance, but I have definitely more than once with a client said, “What you’re talking about is above my pay grade.” 

Connie Jones:

That’s right, yeah. 

Erin Marcus:

I’m a big believer in action. I’m a big believer in moving forward. The way that I say this, “It’s your business, not your mother. You don’t need closure. You just need it to work.” Explain or talk a little bit about, for someone with the credentials, for someone with the experience, what does a consumer like I’m worried about the damage that could be done by someone who doesn’t have the depth of education.

Connie Jones:

Yeah. Well, it’s a great point. I don’t know what goes on out there. I mean, I know. I’ve heard things. 

Erin Marcus:

Well, I’m just going off my experience. I don’t know that thing is different. I’ve had amazing life coaches give me amazing, amazing advice and help me change everything. And then I’ve also had some, where I’m like, “You really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Connie Jones:

I can talk about what I have heard is damaging. One of those is that people start coaching before they really understand how someone’s wired and what are their triggers and what works for them. I don’t like cookie cutter. I am a business strategist. So, I’m grateful that God made me, that I’ve got a lot of things wrong with me, but I have a very good mix of being able to be empathetic and compassionate and intuitive and go to the deep, but also be very organized and very structured and very strategic and very forward moving. So, I have the good mix of that. Not everybody does. So, I can function as a business strategist and I’ve had so much experience in that because I’ve grown. 

Erin Marcus:

You’ve done it over and over and over again. You’ve done the work, right. 

Connie Jones:

So, I do very well with the strategic and the organized and the planning and the formulas for success because those are important. But helping someone stay in alignment with who they are and really understand what is underneath that, that is really keeping you stuck and what is causing this, what’s causing this true hindrance that is not allowing you to get breakthrough in this area? What keeps you coming back into the same place that you’ve been that won’t allow you to break this ceiling or to have the freedom that you really want. We need to take a look at that. So, a lot of times people coach people to do things that really don’t work for them.

Erin Marcus:

I think you and I chatted this when we first met. Like from a business strategy side alone, it’s one of my biggest pet peeves in this business and I see it in life coaching a little bit, I definitely see it in business coaching where here is my cookie cutter strategy.

Connie Jones:

My plan. 

Erin Marcus:

Right. Here’s my plan. This is the plan I learned. This is the plan that works. I’m going to just give you my plan that I was able to do. And there’s no customization for somebody. Like you’re kind of coming at it from the other side that I do. I come at it like, what are you good at? What is your strengths? What do you love doing?

Connie Jones:

What’s your essence? Then, what’s your calling? And what are you passionate about? And what’s your zone of genius? All of those things and what’s most important to you as far as lifestyle and how you want to show up in your business and the impact that you want to make. All of those things are so important to ask people and to help them get clear about themselves, which oftentimes they don’t even know because there’s so much noise going on, so much chaos in their life that a lot of times we have to work through a lot of the things that are deeper issues before we can even get to the answers about the clarity about what they really want and why they want to create what they do.

Erin Marcus:

And the strategies that you can’t do and are like make your skin crawl in the beginning when you do the work later, those same strategies are no big deal. 

Connie James:

That’s right. 

Erin Marcus:

But what I find is when people sign up for programs with cookie cutter strategies, one size fits all, not only does it not work for them, but then they feel worse. They feel failure.

Connie Jones:

Frustrated. They like they failed. Like why is it not working? 

Erin Marcus:

We wasted the money.

Connie Jones:

This professional has said it’s supposed to work. And it’s supposedly working for all these thousands of other people, which it’s not. 

Erin Marcus:

Which is not, by the way.

Connie Jones:

They’re all struggling in it together. And then they’ve spent their money. They’re in this place where they’re spending their wheels and they’re adrenal stress. I mean, overwhelmed and they’re more confused than ever. And it is not working. And that breaks my heart for people. So, yeah, I would consider myself kind of an inside out business strategist. I go from the inside out. And we just tackle whatever we need to inside so that when we get to the outside and we’re co-creating. As we’re healing what’s inside and transforming whatever needs to be in there, we are working on the strategy at the same time or as much as we can to build something. But we don’t want to build on the wrong ground. 

Erin Marcus:

The way that I say this with my clients, because I can tell like you go deeper into that and it’s more the core than what I do. But I will work with my clients and we’ll do all the work. I’m creating the plan, what do you want? Put the whole thing together. How are we going to do this? How does it work for you? And then I look at them and say, “All right. What’s going to screw this up?”

Connie Jones:

That’s exactly right. 

Erin Marcus:

Because it’s going to.

Connie Jones:

It’s inevitable. Exactly.

Erin Marcus:

It’s like let’s make a plan for when you start to get in your, because like right now you’re excited. We just spent all this time together. Right now, we’re all happy. We’re all excited.

Connie Jones:

Yeah, but it doesn’t. It’s not ever that easy. They don’t just need the plan. They need the person to walk it out with them and help them work through those bumps and bruises.

Erin Marcus:

Love what you’re learning here and interested in more? Check out conqueryourbusiness.com to get immediate access to all sorts of additional resources and stay updated on our upcoming training events. 

So, with all the folks that you’ve been working with, I’m curious, what are the themes? So, we all know that it’s not just us. We’re all human, humans are messy. What did I say entrepreneur was? It’s a pervasive shit show. 

Connie Jones:

It’s a chronic trauma. 

Erin Marcus: 

But I would imagine there’s some themes like what are the most common things where people get stuck? And do you have like a tip? Please. 

Connie Jones:

Yeah. I mean, I could list off many. They are definitely money beliefs and money programming. I’m talking about unconscious programming, subconscious program, very deep money beliefs that have to be turned around, reprogrammed. Sometimes there’s trauma there. A lot of times there’s a lot of inner child stuff. There’s a lot of they don’t even know that something has not been processed through or healed in them from childhood and they’re still responding, or I should say reacting, reacting out of that, not even knowing. A lot of times, it’s relationship struggles that are complicating work in some capacity or another. Most every time it’s I’m reacting to the day-to-day in my business. How do I get out of the reactivity and actually get some of these things done that will automate my system, that will create systems that will streamline my operations? But there’s no more capacity for me. 

Erin Marcus:

And it’s so interesting to me with my clients and being an observer of my own journey, you will think something is the most logical, obvious external tidbitty problem. And it is you, right? And you’re thinking it’s some random tweaky, like benign external, and it’s you.

Connie Jones:

It all comes back down to the psychology of the leader on top is the cause for every problem in the business. It really does. And we get in our own way and can’t get out of our own way. It’s not our fault. We’re not doing it on purpose. God bless us. I mean, we’re not trying to mess up our business. Who wants to do that?

Erin Marcus:

Right. Nobody’s going to, right. I say we are up against neuroscience here. 

Connie Jones:

That’s exactly right. We’re dealing with something that is way bigger than us that we’re not even aware of, but don’t know how to fix for ourselves. And that’s why we need a professional to help us understand what is that really and where’s it coming from? And how do I fix it? Once and for all, how do I get true freedom from this, not just manage this? Yeah, that’s always the case. Not having clarity about what do I really want? And so, I’m creating something I think I have to be doing or should be doing and I’m tolerating things I’m not okay with. The tolerations are the first–

Erin Marcus:

I have a story for you. 

Connie Jones:

The tolerations are the first place I start.

Erin Marcus:

I love it. We do tolerations as well. The first time I was ever invited to do an exercise in tolerations is like, what are you tolerating? We’ll start with the small stuff and work your way up. I remember this, the two things I had to instantly tackle, the house that I lived in at the time had a big fluffy bath mat. That sounds like a great thing except you couldn’t open the door over the bath mat. So, literally every single time I went to use the bathroom, if Mike was home and he was going to close the door, I had to slide the bath mat out of the way, close the door, don’t trip over the bath mat, step over. Like, it was so ridiculous. So, that was number one. Go to target, buy a new bath mat. Right? And this had been going on for months. I had fallen, I had tripped more than one time in the bathroom because of this. And yet, I wasn’t solving the problem. I was just tolerant. 

And then the other one that was so funny was I had broken my phone. We all do it. I was mad because I had broken my phone within a week of purchasing the phone, which is usually when you break your phone. And so, I was tolerating a cracked screen that even with a case and a plastic thingy on it, about once a week, I would cut my ear and there would be actual blood drop. I was tolerating, being physically injured by my phone on a very consistent basis.

Connie Jones:

I get it.

Erin Marcus:

And doing nothing about it. 

Connie Jones:

Right. If you are doing those minute little things that are causing irritation and causing energy burning. But think about all the other things. That extra 15 pounds on our body, that employee not doing what I need them to do and me not saying anything about it. Lower revenue months that I’m just tolerating and not feeling like I can do anything about it. Well, yeah, we can. But it’s the stories we tell ourselves, and the things that we just keep doing because we think that’s all there is or that’s all we’ve ever known. So, we get okay with it and it’s not okay.

Erin Marcus:

I think a lot of people just sticking with tolerations for a second. They’re worried about becoming a big jerk. It’s very interesting, I have this conversation a lot and I’m sure you do as well, where the person who is on the journey is worried of what the end result will be or they worried they’re not ready for the end result. So, they’re basically worried about something that either can’t happen because it’s not who they are or it’s not going to happen until they’re ready for it anyway. And then we just let it stop us.

Connie Jones:

That’s it. And so many times it comes down to the fact that we don’t trust our own instincts and intuition. We haven’t really given ourselves full permission to say what we want to say and do what we want to do. And we are just putting up with things that we’re not really okay with all day long every day. We’re afraid of the retribution of that when we start speaking our truth and honoring what we want inside. And what are we judging ourselves and what judgments are we afraid of if we change that. Exactly. 

Erin Marcus:

And the downside, the honest downside, is you are going to experience pushback. You are going to experience resentment from places you never thought. And if you haven’t done the work on yourself before that starts to happen, one, I was only able to come from a place of empathy for those folks because I was on solid ground by then. They’re just scared for me. They’re just nervous. It’s not about me. But it’s almost like a little bit of what you’re scared of does happen.

Connie Jones:

Oh, it does. Absolutely. Yeah. We don’t realize what powerful creators we really are. We are creating our reality in every moment. And that’s research. I mean, there’s research that shows the electrons and atoms respond differently based on who the observer is. So, we are affecting material things in the quantum that we are watching every single day or that we are looking at and don’t think that that doesn’t translate to our reality the same way. Whatever we’re looking at the way that we’re looking at, in the way that we’re showing up, we are creating that reality. And if we want to change it, then we have to change inside. We have to change our thoughts, we have to change our perception, we have to change the way we respond to things. We have to change our energy, all of those things. And we can’t do that if we’re not doing our own work.

Erin Marcus:

Yeah. And the amazing part about that is once you start to really understand how that works, you can shortcut hack your improvements.

Connie Jones:

That’s exactly right.

Erin Marcus:

Like I don’t have to go through the step by step, what do I want? Forgive. I don’t have to do it anymore. Because now, years of this later, I like well, I can just decide differently. And now, it’s different.

Connie Jones:

That’s it. And that’s when you get the healing and the empowerment, then you can do more coaching because coaching is just a quick shift. It’s just, ‘Oh, I’ve woken up. Is that a word? I’ve awakened. I woke up. I have awakened, I have decided I want something different. This is not working for me. I’m tolerating this when I’m not really okay with it. What do I want different?’ Okay. It is a matter of shifting it. It’s a matter of making a decision and changing it. 

Sometimes when we haven’t done our work and we’re not aware of what is really hindering us, we’re trying to change all these things and we can’t change them. And that’s when we know that there’s something, there’s a hangup there that we haven’t resolved, that we’ve got to probably get a professional involved in to get in there to help us unlock that.

Erin Marcus:

It’s sneaky.

Connie Jones:

It is. It absolutely is.

Erin Marcus:

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. Like my one friend and I talk about it, and it hasn’t happened in a while, knock on wood, but we used to say all the time, ‘Oh my God, I hired my mother again. How did that happen?’ Every time. Every time. Oh my gosh. We thought this was over. I think I hired my mother again.

Connie Jones:

I told my group last night, I said, “I am telling you, and this may sound harsh, but if there is a pattern in your life that you are unhappy with, then you are the one that has to change. You’re creating that pattern. If that same old thing keeps happening, it is not all these other people.” 

Erin Marcus:

It is not them. I can’t believe I did it. I hired my–

Connie Jones:

In all love, and it is not your fault. That is not what I’m saying. But it is you that is creating it. So, we’ve got to change that. And so, yes.

Erin Marcus:

Right. I call it, it’s not your fault, but it is your problem. 

Connie Jones:

But it is your problem. That’s right. You’re the only one that can fix it. Nobody else is going to change.

Erin Marcus:

All right. So, let’s do this. If someone wants to continue this conversation with you and learn how to break through these patterns, get out of their own way, build what they want to build. We talked about business and I know you work with business owners and I work with business owners. But it really is for entrepreneurs pervasive in your life, right? It translates in your life because especially as an entrepreneur, you’re not separate from your business. 

Connie Jones:

Not at all. 

Erin Marcus:

And what you’re able to solve and resolve and put into action in your business, you get to do the same in the rest of your life. What is the best way for people to get ahold of you?

Connie Jones:

Oh, well, thank you. Yes. They can go to my website and they can schedule a vision strategy session or a complimentary vision strategy session with me. At the bottom of my website, there’s a little link there or a little button they can schedule some time with me. If they know they want to have a more extensive conversation and they’re really looking at resolving some issues.

Erin Marcus:

They are ready.

Connie Jones:

Yeah, if they’re ready. They can email me at conniej, C-O-N-N-I-E-J, @conniejonescoach.com. That’s always an option. They can just go to my website @conniejonescoach and subscribe to my email list and get on it and start receiving my weekly coaching inspiration and strategy tips and tools and those kinds of things. 

Erin Marcus:

Basically, you’re not hiding.

Connie Jones:

I’m not hiding. No, no, no. I am available. I love this and want to help. That’s what I’m here for. And then Facebook, Connie Jones Coach or Connie Jones Coaching is my Facebook page, so they can always find me there.

Erin Marcus:

Thank you so much for sharing, sharing your story, your insights, your ideas, all of the things. I love chatting with you. 

Connie Jones:

Thank you for having me. Yes. Me and you, well, we could talk some–

Erin Marcus:

We can keep going. We can absolutely need to keep going. 

I hope you enjoy this episode of the ready Yet?! Podcast. I truly enjoy bringing these stories of success and inspiration to you. Please join us in our mission to empower entrepreneurs to be in charge of their businesses and in-charge of their lives by sharing this with anyone you know who would benefit from our tactical and motivating advice, leaving us a review and letting us know if there are any particular topics you would really appreciate hearing about. See you next time.